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Armin Bock
22.10.2002, 22:57
How to Make Friends at the Field (HUM)

Listen up newbies. Here's some surefire tips for making a good impression at the field.

Go up to a pilot who is getting ready to fly his tattered, well used plane and ask "Does that thing really fly?"
This shows everyone that you have a keen grasp of basic aerodynamics.

Find a pilot who is getting set up for a landing and start asking a lot of questions. This works better if you have something in your hand you can show him and ask questions about.

Don't use the frequency board. Everyone knows you're there and wouldn't dare use your channel without checking with you. The board's for "them other guys that don't know any better".

Smoke while in the pits of the guys flying gas powered motors. Shows that you can handle the responsibility and that you like "living on the edge".

Borrow as many things as possible from other flyers. They've really been wanting an excuse to talk to you, but were too shy. Plus it shows that you're smart enough not to buy something you might not need that often. A quality greatly admired.

Run your engine a lot in the pits. Yours isn't annoying like everyone elses is. The other guys at the field love the way you can really lean it out.

If someone gives you advice about how to do something, argue with them. He's definitely wrong. The experienced flyers are always trying to pull this stunt on the newbies. Don't be fooled.

Never announce your intentions to take off or land. They'll get out of your way and respect you for being a decisive fellow. Strictly for dweebs.

Everyone knows the best time to practice touch-and-go's is 2 o'clock on a pretty Sunday afternoon. Never miss this opportunity. Do lots.

Sometime in your early solo career, buzz low over the parking lot. The guys will love the way you make the spectators panic. Instant admiration.

When you crash, bring the pieces back to the pits and stomp vigorously on them, radio, engine and all. Cuss while doing this. Shows everybody that you're not to be trifled with and have little tolerance for "junk".

If you should make it into a club, complain and make lots of suggestions at the meetings, but never show up for any workdays or shows or anything. After all, you're an "idea" man, not a common laboror. Everyone understands.